The Grapes of Wrath

Oh boy…travelling with a newborn!

Apparently I thought I was super woman while I was pregnant.  With my brother’s wedding to my long time friend only one short month after Nugget’s arrival, I planned and plotted and agreed to everything! I have to give myself credit for a least including my fabulous husband in all my schemes – he was probably my saving grace!

First, only two weeks after evicting my cute little parasite, I thought ‘hey, let’s have a bachelorette weekend at the beach!’ Sounds like a great plan, right? Mimosas in the morning, cold beer on the beach, the Flora-Bama at night…heck yeah, count me in! So, I started packing…and packing…and packing…and packing some more. After a few hours and filling my Escape to it’s limit, I was sure this was a horrible idea and there’s just no way we could possibly fit our luggage, along with everything a newborn would need, into what now seemed to be the size of a two door smart car rather than a small SUV. We looked like the grapes of wrath! Well after stuffing and shoving and poking and prodding, we shut the trunk and headed south.

Having to stop every 90 minutes or so for potty breaks, diaper changes and feedings turned our routine 4 hour and 30 minute drive into almost 6 hours…my lady parts were not happy with me! Side note – every mom needs a Boppy; greatest butt pillow ever! Anyways, long story, short…3 of my best friends and mother arrive and we think we’re ready to go.  First full day there we go shopping, all day! Eventually we make it back and prepare to go out for the night.

After plenty of cold beer, maybe one too many shots, and definitely too much dancing, we arrive back at the condo where my poor husband is in for a treat.  Since I’m sure my child is asleep by now I asked that everyone keep quiet as we enter the condo – this turns into a solid rendition of Charley’s Angels as we not so quietly enter. (Side note #2 – one of my friends is pregnant and completely sober. Yet she still plays along with us – love that girl!)


Luckily for me, my friends are all as lame as me and our weekend concluded with pizza and a B-rated horror flick as none of us could quite recoup from our night of bachelorette debauchery. As we all part ways to head home, and my dear husband loads all of our belongings back into the clown car, we realize that we only used about a quarter of the things we brought for the Nugget man – maybe we were a little too cautious.

Fast forward two weeks, and here we go again. For some reason my brother thought it would be a good idea to get married in the mountains of Tennessee. He obviously wasn’t considering how much sh*t I had to pack and haul with this kid – he’s such a butthole! (Hopefully you can sense the sarcasm by now; the wedding was beautiful and I wouldn’t have missed it for the world and Nugget man looked super fly in his tux). Of course my dearest husband loaded up all of our lives into my car that still seems to be shrinking, yet again. Fortunately we did leave an outfit or two behind this time.  We were slowly beginning to realize that a newborn doesn’t actually need every one of it’s belongings everywhere it goes.


After driving pretty much all over the entire state of Tennessee for four days and sleeping in a different room literally every night (requiring us to pack up all this sh*t daily – thanks, Bro!) it was time to head back home and FINALLY be done with all the wedding and family festivities any one person should ever have to deal with over the course of about 6 months. I do believe it took about 24 days to actually unpack everything from my car.  I finished putting it all up yesterday!

In the end I have one important note for new moms: you do not need to pack your child’s entire life for weekend vacations.  I promise you don’t need it all.  I also promise that if for some chance your little one does need it, there is a store somewhere that sells it!!  You can leave the extra 783 baby wipes and the bulk box of diapers at home…

Cheers, mommas!



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